Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Humble and Kind

I deactivated my Facebook today.

I didn't make any announcements about it beforehand, which led to a couple of confused conversations with friends, but yes. It's down for now.

I wasn't mad at anyone. It wasn't one thread that pushed me over the edge. To be honest, it was just a difficult day, and I realized that Facebook is one more thing that I just don't need right now.

tea party with special guests

Pinky Pie with a bracelet-turned necklace, surrounded by dominoes

Do you ever wonder what they will write about us in twenty years? I foresee more books and studies all about The Social Media Effect. I don't know, y'all. I sometimes wonder if we'd be better off if all of our internet friends and real-life friends didn't overlap. If maybe we talked to our online friends online because there was no other way to connect with them face-to-face. If we talked to our real-life friends in person where we could more attentively notice how we talk to them. I wonder if we know way too much about our real-life friends anymore, and it's becoming harder and harder to like the people in front of our faces because of all of the overshare.

All of these thoughts were rumbling around in my brain when I came across something that reminded me of this country song

A few people had asked why I was slipping away from my primary social media site. I wasn't sure - I just knew I needed it. But I think I knew why when I pulled up the song and listened to it again. 

I'm weary of the things that chip away at my kindness. I'm weary of things that compete with true humility. I'm through listening to people try to scare me out of my humanity and ability to be humble and kind. 

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind

I wonder if fear is like fire. We know that fire needs oxygen and fire needs something to consume. I wonder if it is consuming our humility and kindness. I wonder if the constant bombard of all of the worst things happening in the world is feeding it. I think there is immediate, fight-or-flight fear and I think there is fear that slowly changes you over time, and this is the latter.

This season is ugly, isn't it? Are there any of us who aren't worried about really big things - from the future of our country to the safety of our children? I am. I'm worried. But I feel like all of us worried people maybe need to stop getting together so often just to worry about things - and I think that's where social media is hurting us. 

Mommy & AJ

I need it to stop for a minute. I need to not see fear-mongering posts with hundreds of "likes" and political posts with dozens or hundreds of comments between only two or three people. 

We are all scared and we're acting like it. But you know what? I'm saying no. I'm not letting fear change me if I can help it. I can't fix the entire world, but I can shut off every voice that tries to intimidate or scare me and choose to focus on being humble and kind.

brothers enjoying a milder summer evening - decorating the car with sidewalk chalk

I know the photos from our humble life my seem oddly scattered through this disjointed post, but they're not. These moments were happening while my brain formulated this post. 

This isn't my appeal to you to abandon Facebook - I'm sure I'll be back. But whatever is weighing you down, scaring you, slowly changing you and not in a good way - maybe you can somehow turn that off and embrace the simpler aspects of the community around you. We can't fix the world by painting it in broad strokes, but we can make a mighty change if we're willing to embrace kindness and humility. 

Feel free to say hello here in the comments! I'd love to know that you stopped by. <3


  1. <3 When I was in college I wrote a term paper called they Myspace/Facebook Effect ( Myspace was still popular, don't judge)
    but it touched on some of these things.

    But now, gosh the way social media controls our lives, our thoughts, everything is crazy! Some of the things people post are so toxic and negative. If I had friends in real life (none live close to me) I might actually give it up.

    1. I so agree with you. And hey, I remember when Myspace was it! It's like the original social media! I'd love to read your paper, btw.

  2. This is a big part of the reason I've pulled way back from Facebook. Thanks for putting words to this issue. You have a gift with words.

  3. Hi Candi, it's Dawn. I started following your blog and I have continued to blog after Xanga. So anyway, I totally understand where you are coming from. I am one who occasionally puts on a political rant on my Facebook because sometimes my newsfeed fills with everyone's opinions and sometimes I feel drawn to post mine. I do realize that there are those who agree and those who don't have no care about what I think so what's the point? I'm trying to tone it down but I have to say with a very important presidential election coming up it's quite difficult to resist the temptation of sharing my feelings. But. I. Am. Trying. ha. I actually stepped away from Facebook for almost a week and it felt great to have that break. I went back on a few days ago to see nothing but political posts from both sides and yes it's quite annoying. I hope you follow my blog and I have yet to post anything politically related http://sunnydaze78.blogspot.com and have no intention to. Enjoy the break from Facebook. Hopefully you do intend to come back because I enjoy your posts and the updates on your precious children.


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