You’re laughing but that’s just because you haven’t sold your soul to Apple yet. That’s okay. You’ll join the dark side soon enough. In fact, I find your lack of Apple disturbing, says the crowd of minions, crouched over their glowing orbs - I mean “iPhones.”
So guys. We’re going on vacation in a few weeks. We’ve taken almost no vacations before. There were the occasional weekend trips to the “city” a couple of hours away and one family sojourn to Branson, but this is The Big One. Barring any disasters, we’re road-tripping all the way up to Maine and The Big Apple. Niagara Falls and also Indiana (it’s an overnight stop, don’t ask questions).
No one will be in diapers and there will be no bottles. My youngest is approaching five years old. Dang. That happened fast, but also it didn’t.
I’m far more concerned with this one random oddity that my children all three seem to possess - but the boys in particular. And here it is. Motion sickness. I swear my kids vomit recreationally. I think we may have used an entire bottle of 409 on one drive to Texas when Micah was a toddler. Don’t talk to me about toxins. The toxins came straight outta my kid. You weren’t there. I'm stocking up on Dramamine Jr and the doctor has sanctioned the use of Benadryl if all else fails. Under-eye war paint is in place. Let's take this hill.
In the planning stages of this trip I have realized that I have That Mom Thing, wherein a trip is rarely exciting until it’s very close. I’m actually shocked that enthusiasm is starting to creep up on me a month out. There’s a ton to do in preparation for a trip - which is daunting, right, Moms? My husband has been excited since we started planning. And Full Vacation Brain overtakes him on that first morning that he wakes up without a mandatory alarm set. Notice I said “mandatory” alarm, because he will set an alarm. You’ll see. Rather, I will. *side-eyes Weird, Happy Vacation Man* Even though we haven’t taken many legitimate vacations, I’ve witnessed this phenomenon on a few short weekend road trips. I, on the other hand, feel that vacation begins with a good sleep-in.
But despite all of my crankiness - despite That Mom Thing, my brain is starting to buzz with visions of New York City and the east coast. I am so eager to experience this classic American city, but I’m also hoping I can safely navigate the crowds with my mini people in tow. I’ve tried to plan well, but I know I will only learn some things by experience.
Mini travel fan for the hotel room(s)? Check.
Overpriced crunchy sunscreen? Check.
Multiple-device USB charger for the car? Check.
I feel like that covers all of my bases.
Good night, y’all.